


Make It Without You

by MXRI



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, F/M, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-19 19:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5978956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MXRI/pseuds/MXRI
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Shining with light, it steals my gaze. I want to hold it. I want to try touching it. You are just like this firefly. I can’t hold it, I can’t reach it. I can’t hold it, that heart of yours." – excerpt taken from the lyrics of Hotaru (Firefly) by Fujita Maiko.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Quiet Nights

_"Quiet nights of quiet stars,_  
_Floating on the silent thoughts around us."_

* * *

   When it all started, you had nowhere to run. You were home alone, while your mother had gone out to work. All television channels switched to the same footage. A woman was squirming on the concrete floor as a man, on top of her, chewed onto her shoulder.  
   You would've easily mistaken it for a zombie movie, but when all channels seemed to stream the same thing you couldn't help but jump from your seat.  
   _Is this some kind of joke?_ You thought, unconsciously and subtly shaking out in fear. And to make it all worse, it was real. A reporter informed of a quarantine state on the whole state, that staying home would be best and all that drill you used to see in those zombie movies and video games.  
   _This couldn't be happening._ You bolted towards the kitchen, checking everywhere for supplies – if you were to stick home as the reporter had said, you wouldn't last home more than a week. And above it all else. . You mother was still outside, amidst all that chaos. _What do I do?_  
   "Shit, what do people do in a zombie apocalypse?" You heaved out, a hand holding onto your chest as you tried calming yourself down before a panic attack could kick in.  
   _Weapons_. That word came to you with a ring. Before rummaging through the kitchen drawer, your phone started ringing. Upon sighting the contact name, you didn't think twice before answering it.  
   "[Y/N]!" She sounded frantic, her voice hoarse. "Don't leave the house, okay? I'm on my way home, don't worry."  
   Before you could even give a proper answer of your own, she had already hung up. "Dammit." You fiercely bit at your bottom lip, throwing your phone to the counter.  
   _Wait, what about my neighbors?_ You rushed towards the front door, leaning against it as you peeked through the peephole. The hallway seemed empty and calm, as usual.  
   You gritted your teeth and decided to step outside – you could hear shouting in the distance, probably someone yelling at the landlord.  
   You knocked at the nearest door, but no answer came. And so you moved to another door; no reply. You frantically ran your fingers through your [h/c] locks and decided to head back inside.  
   Your neighbors were most likely seeking advice from the landlord – to which you considered to, but decided to stay in your apartment anyway.  
   _Oh_ _yeah_ _,_ _weapons_ _._ Returning to your previous duty, all you managed to find on the kitchen drawers were kitchen knifes, naturally. _Well_ _,_ _what_ _was_ _I_ _expecting?_  
   The worst thing, if you ever considered stepping outside of the building, was having to face zombies and solely having to rely on melee weapons.  
   Stabbing a zombie was the equivalent of stabbing a human being – well, in a sense – and just by thinking of having to cut through something’s (or someone’s) flesh caused you to shiver.  
_How can people do it so easily on video games?_  
   For the time being, you considered simply sitting back and wait for your mom to come back home – you had nothing in mind, so hopefully she had an idea on how the handle things from now on. You also had to make sure to ask the landlord, afterwards.  
   You retreated back to your spot on the couch, your back facing the television screen. It was no use to waste your sanity in “petty” matters – for now, you would just stick to calmly inhaling in and exhaling out, while trying your best to remain calm.  
   You reached out for your phone (along with your earbuds) and decided to distract yourself with a mobile app, – one that didn’t require internet, for that you were too scared of even thinking the network cables were long disrupted after the “outbreak” – your chest still heaving up and down.  
_There’s no need to worry. Mom will be home soon enough! No need to overthink; she’s fine!_  
   The mobile game didn’t distract you enough, but, gladly, you weren’t overthinking – _having an anxiety attack now wouldn’t be good, think about it, [Y/N]!_  
_Staying awake won’t be of much help,_ you mumbled and thought it would be best to nap – not in the best scenario, of course, but it was better than freaking out over your mother’s state.  
   Picking a calm playlist of choice on your phone, you clutched at the pillow and tightly closed your eyes.  
_Think of a better place. Mom will be coming soon. [Y/N], treat yourself some tea afterwards, you know it calms you down. And by the time you wake up, mom will already be home! That’s something to look forward to and. . ._

* * *

   When your eyelids fluttered open, you immediately jumped up. Looking out the balcony, you could note the sky had gotten darker – it was most likely around 5 pm.  
   The first thing that came into your mind was rush towards your mother’s bedroom. _She probably saw me sleeping and thought it would be best to leave me resting. . ._  
   But much to your desperation, you saw no one. Her sheets remained untouched, just as before. No lights were on, not even from the bathroom. . . _So where was she?_  
You stumbled on your way towards the kitchen, reaching out for the intercom. _Wait, what if they locked up the place and left?_ But gladly, the doorman answered.  
   “Miss [Y/N]? Are you alright?” He politely asked.  
   The odds of your apartment’s “hierarchy” to be still at function. . . You always thought that, during a zombie outbreak, things would go rogue and straight into an anarchy but apparently, it was not. _Was it all a dream?_  
   “I was taking a nap and I thought everyone left me behind. . . Did the landlord say anything? Are all the other tenants okay?” You asked, breathless. So you weren’t alone, after all.  
   “Just like the news said, the landlord suggested us staying inside until the military acts up – hopefully it’s going to happen soon enough! If you have a radio at home, stick to it – they’re keeping everyone informed.” He explained, a hint of hope in his voice.  
   “Oh, thanks for the info! But I’ve also been meaning to ask if mom came in? She’s not here but she called me earlier saying she was coming home. . .” You trailed on, with a gulp.  
   There was a long pause. You couldn’t even hear his breath – it was almost as if there was no one there. But after a couple of seconds, he spoke under his breath. “. . .No, she didn’t come.”  
   Instantly the phone fell from your hands, landing straight onto the kitchen counter.  
_Eh?_  
   Your limbs were long numb, but you had been able to lunge forward and use the ceramic counter for physical support. Even so, you were shaking.  
   You could no longer hear the sound coming from the television, no birds were chirping outside – all there was to it was the sound of your heart.  
   The rapid and intensely loud _badump_ ’s were consuming you. You had gone deaf to all things but the deafening and shrieking sound of your beating heart. _The only person you had was long gone._ You felt like throwing up.  
   Not even the sound of your painful and horrid faint screams of anger and sadness could top to how loud your heartbeat was. Tears ran down your face but all you could feel were vibrations of your accelerated heartbeat.  
_What else is there to do?_  
   You fell to the floor, not even minding (or feeling) the pain of bumping your head onto one of the drawers’ handle. Your arms were numbly snaked around your legs, pulled closer to your chest. The throbbing pain on your chest was something new; it was far too surreal for you to handle.  
   You were hiccuping, at the same time nausea rushed over you. To put it simply, you were _miserable._

* * *

   You couldn’t remember falling asleep the previous night – you didn’t even had the strength to stand up. You would’ve considered going back to rest if not for the sudden knock at the door. But even so, you didn’t stir.  
   “[Y/N]?” You recognized that voice to be Etsuko, the tenant from right across the hallway. “It’s me, open up!”  
   You didn’t have enough courage or even air to be able to give a coherent reply – hell, even blinking felt like too much work. And yet, she knocked once more.  
   In all honesty, you couldn’t ever see yourself leaving that spot on the kitchen floor. Not only were you going through a mental breakdown, but an existencial crisis made itself present. _I’m all alone. There’s nowhere else to go. Should I stay here? I have no clue where to go. Mom is gone and I can’t think straight. . . I might as well just rot here._  
   You caught yourself darkly letting out a dry, humorless, chuckle – _I’m done for._ And you were far too distracted with your endless ruminating, you didn’t even notice Etsuko coming inside. _Forgot we had a spare key under the rug._  
   The woman stared in pity down at you. Your eyes were red, dark bags under your sockets. Your eyelids were droopy but you still managed to flash a cracked smile. Your vision was still far too blurry for you to be able to properly look at your neighbor; when she reached out for you, her arms were nothing more than a faint pink blur.  
   Taking notice of that, she snaked an arm around you and carefully helped you up. _Her body is too weak. The poor thing. . ._ With steady steps, you woobly made your way to your room. Etsuko gently lied you on your bed, you not able to even mumble a _thank you._ But Etsuko didn’t mind.  
   Tears still made their way out the corner of your eyes, your shoulders harshly going up and down. Even if your stomach was grumbling, it was still nothing compared to the aching in your chest.  
_Let’s face it: my mom is dead and all I ever do is weep. Surely “it” scarred me pretty good but I suppose – is it expected of me!_ – _I have to move forward. It’s been only a day but this isn’t the time to falter. We have a menace out there and I don’t expect everyone will remain locked up inside for long. . .  
   I will most likely lose the last of my sanity if I stay here. And if I recall wisely. . .  “Keep moving.” That’s what I have to do. And to think, I’ll be out there by myself _ – _but it’s still better than rotting here and expecting for nothing to happen. . . Things always go to shit in zombie movies, right?  
   I need to plan a route, or that’s what I would consider if I had any idea where to go. . . What do I do? Well, I guess for the time being I’ll stick to reestablishing my psychological and physical strength to be able to face whatever’s out there. Those are going to be absurdly quiet nights. . ._  
   You, once again, didn’t even notice the moment Etsuko left the room, only to come back a few minutes later with a plate with your breakfast and a glass of milk.  
   _“You need to eat something.”_


	2. The Wisp Sings

_"Come with me,_

_There are people who cannot speak_

_Without smiling."_

* * *

   A week had gone by since the outbreak. The people –  as the doorman had told you – broadcasting on the radio weren't able to inform the exact cause of it, but there were assumptions of a vicious fungi uprising. As for the military support, they were mainly focused on capital cities – not small towns like yours; but they weren't cast aside, nonetheless.

   Everyone from your building – you hadn't left the place yet – knew of a small militia group around the city trying to fight off the said zombie menace. And so for the time being, things were going alright.

   The community you were in was also surprisingly stable. _Who_ _would've_ _thought_ _atleast_ _somewhere_ _amidst_ _chaos_ _people_ _would be able to_ _cooperate_ _?_ The tenants would share supplies amongst themselves, hopefully until the military acted up in the area – but for now, food had to be rationed.

   And according to the landlord, a small group of people was set out to scavenge for more supplies – and that could be your chance to leave and, somehow, manage to take a stand amidst the ruins of a small town.

   By the time, you presumed a lot of people attempted leaving the state, so in a matter of months, or years even, the buildings would reach a state of decay – _wait_ _,_ _hopefully_ _this_ _outbreak_ _is_ _contained_ _in_ _less_ _that_ _a year!_

   Much to Etsuko's disapproval, you were set to leave the building and to never come back. Hell, of all times you had the chance to go and explore the world, who would've thought that would be the most fitting scenario – but with quite the setbacks, let's face it.

   You reassured her you would be fine, as long as you avoided encountering zombies as much as possible; and above it all else, _keep_ _moving_. She had an intense gaze on you as you packed your belongings.

   You would miss her, there was no doubt, but you simply thought _that_ was your calling. You weren't exactly legal of age just yet, but you liked to believe you had maturity and a decent sense of ethics to wander off on your own, in that situation – and have the strength to face the consequences to come.

   _Hopefully_ _that_ _will_ _get_ _me_ _somewhere_ _in_ _life_ _,_ you mused under your breath. _Just_ _have_ _to_ _keep_ _my_ _eyes_ _wide_ _open_ _._

   You were still concerned with the thought of having to stab a living being (in self defense, of course) but as long as you had quiet and swift steps, you had hopes you'd do well out there.

   "They're leaving in a few minutes. Are you really sure of it?" Etsuko asked, bitterly. To her, you were like a younger sister – or a daughter of her own – and having to see you go, trully broke her heart.  
   You nodded affirmatively, flashing a sheepish grin. "Don't worry about me." You tried reassuring her yourself, but you were doing yourself a favor by trying to avoid anxiety to kick in.  
   "Lord, have you even thought things through?" She heaved out, rubbing the tip of hers fingers against the wrinkles on her forehead. "What if you end up all by yourself?"

   Now that was something you hadn't given much thought. Well, you weren't particularly fond of having company – but really, being with someone makes everyone feel well. Nonetheless, you continued, "I don't mind. But I'm bound to come across people, at some point."

   "I'm worried about your safety." Etsuko confessed, embracing you into a motherly hug.

_"I'll be fine."_

* * *

   You were surprised to find the streets nearly all empty. There were a couple of zombies around, but nothing you (read: your group) couldn't handle.

   But what caught your attention, were the dozens of bodies lying on the streets – the avenue you lived in was surrounded by stores of all sorts, but seeing most of them with their windows shattered or doors seemingly all boarded up. . .  
   You were in a daze. Surely you lived in a small town, but seeing it so unusually empty caused you to feel a pain in your chest. _Have_ _to_ _get_ _used_ _to_ _this_ _. . ._ _for_ _now_ _._  
    Following right after your group, they made their way towards the nearest grocery store – knocking a couple of zombies on the day, naturally. The thought of having to put down one of those. . . _People_ _who_ _were_ _so_ _lively_ _not_ _long_ _ago_ _. . ._  
   You didn't have the guts. _Why_ _did_ _I_ _ever_ _consider_ _leaving_ _the_ _building_ _,_ _anyway_ _?_ You sighed heavily, tightly gripping onto the strap of your bag. _Wandering off by myself, thinking everything would be fine. . ._ _That's_ _just_ _me_ _being_ _idealistic_ _and_ _reckless_ _._

   "I think this is where I depart." You mumbled under your breath, before the leader of the group – Ikejiri, the tenant from 8th floor – could step inside the store.

   The man warmly stared down at you, respecfully nodding your way. "If you're feeling lonely, you could always pay us a visit. I'm sure Etsuko-san wouldn't mind."

   "If anything happens, just yell." Another one of your neighbors, Utsui, added. He gave you a soft pat on the head, and went inside the grocery store – to make sure there were no zombies inside.

   The group was mainly armed with pipes, bats and knifes – the thing about melee weapons is that they don't make loud sound that might disperse through kilometers. But on the downside, what are the odds of some zombie blood splashing over you – be it on your mouth, eyes or an open wound – would it cause you to turn?

   The basics of a zombie apocalypse is, all well aware as told by the media, their "infectious" saliva, that through a bite people could turn into _them_ – you couldn't help but wonder if their own blood (well, they're all body fluids) would be able to infect someone. _I_ _surely_ _don't_ _want_ _be_ _the_ _one_ _to_ _witness_ _that_ _,_ _thank_ _you_ _very_ _much_ _._

   "You guys take care, and be strong." You cheerfully waved at all of them, receiving warm _farewell_ _'s_ and _good_ _luck'_ _s_ in return. _I_ _will_ _probably_ _regret_ _it_ _soon_ _enough_ _._  
_Who_ _even_ _supports_ _an_ _underage_ _woman_ _to_ _wander_ _out_ _there_ _by_ _herself_ _,_ _anyway_ _?_ _I'm_ _so_ _stupid_ _. . ._ _But_ _. . ._ _I'll_ _be_ _fine_ _._ _Going_ _to_ _a_ _capital_ _city_ _would_ _be_ _good_ _. . ._ _I_ _just_ _don't_ _think_ _I'll_ _make_ _it_ _by_ _myself_ _. . ._ _Fuck_ _it_ _._

   You heaved out one last time before turning your back and making your way to the end of the street. Luckily, you hadn't been spotted by any threats out there so you thought of stopping by a drugstore.

   You thought you had enough food if you spared enough, so stocking up medicine and bandages in general would be a wise step to take. _I'm_ _not_ _going_ _to_ _lie_ _,_ _my_ _heart_ _is_ _racing_ _like_ _hell_ _._

   Unsheathing a bat from the back of your bag, you reached out for the store's front door. You came to find it unsettling the fact it was creaked open, but even so, you quietly stepped inside.  
   Once the door was fully open, you came right across _one_ _of_ _them_ – standing with his back facing the door. And legitimately, you were shaking more than ever. Now that was your time to shine.  
   With shaky hands, you gripped tightly onto the bat before carefully (and slowly at a time) inching it closer to his head. Luckily, he wasn't that much taller than you but if you came to think of it. . .

   _Sticking_ _to_ _melee_ _weaponry_ _,_ _would_ _come_ _to_ _a_ _disadvantage_ _if_ _I_ _ever_ _come_ _across_ _someone_ _taller_ _than_ _,_ _let's_ _say_ _, 190_ _centimeters_ _?_ _If_ _the_ _top_ _of_ _my_ _head_ _reaches_ _the_ _shoulder_ _of_ _a_ _man_ _who's_ _185_ _centimeters_ _tall_ _. . ._ _I'll_ _have_ _to_ _firmly_ _stretch_ _my_ _arms_ _if_ _I_ _want_ _to_ _knock_ _them_ _down_ _by_ _hitting_ _their_ _head_ _._

_Shit_ _,_ _I_ _shouldn't_ _. . ._ You swang your arm at full 180 degrees. Unconsciously, you ended up letting out a heavy grunt, mixed with a faint and subtle gasp. With the swing of the bat, the zombie was long knocked out to the floor – he was still alive, of course, but you were still surprised to had managed to knock down a full-grown man.

   Hurriedly closing the door behind you, you lunged forward and forcefully smashed his head with the bat. Not once, but a frantic couple of times, to the point it was no longer able to move.

   You were panting heavily; your first kill and sweat was already dripping from your forehead. You would've thought of this as a huge progress, a huge step towards (re)affirming your natural-born independence if not. . .

   You had stumbled onto the floor, falling straight onto your backside. Your bat had fallen from your shaky hands, droplets of fresh blood staining the cement tiles. Your back arched inwards, so you were curled up holding onto your legs.

   Your entire body was shaking erratically, your sweaty palms covering your face. It was your first hour into the apocalypse, and you were already on the floor sobbing to your heart's content.

   As long as the door was tightly closed, you liked to believe you had the utmost right to cry your eyes out; if there were no more zombies inside, that is.

  _I_ _just_ _. . ._ _killed_ _a_ _man_ _._ _I_ _used_ _brutal_ _force_ _to_ _kill_ _someone_ _. . ._ _This_ _is_ _not_ _okay_ _._ _This_ _is_ _not_ _happening_ _._ _Probably_ _earlier_ _today_ _that_ _man_ _was_ _peacefully_ _making_ _his_ _way_ _here_ _when_ _out_ _of_ _the_ _sudden_ _. . ._ _He_ _. . ._ _lost_ _it_ _._ _He_ _lost_ _his_ _consciousness_ _to_ _something_ _he_ _had_ _no_ _knowledge_ _of_ _. . ._ _He_ _was_ _still_ _a_ _human_ _,_ _deep_ _inside_ _,_ _and_ _I_ _was_ _the_ _one_ _who_ _made_ _sure_ _. . ._ _He_ _ceased_ _to_ _exist_ _._  
Your sobbing got louder, your hiccups more frequent. Your lungs seemed to rapidly got at a loss for air, and you couldn't see yourself walking out of that place in that state.  
   _What_ _was_ _I_ _thinking_ _?_ _I'm_ _a_ _weak_ _and_ _frail_ _girl_ _._ _That's_ _it_ _. . ._ _I'm_ _just_ _a_ _scared_ _little_ _girl_ _who_ _stupidly_ _thought_ _could_ _fight_ _her_ _way_ _out_ _of_ _this_ _mess_ _._ _I_ _should_ _go_ _back_ _._  
   Not only did you feel like throwing up over the sudden rush of stress, but also by the atrocious smell the corpse gave off. You ran your fingers through your hair, trying to evade certain thoughts but you couldn't get a grip of yourself.  
   _What_ _am_ _I_ _trying_ _to_ _achieve_ _,_ _anyway_ _?_ _Mom_ _would've_ _probably_ _suggested_ _us_ _to_ _stay_ _and_ _,_ _wow_ _,_ _look_ _at_ _me_ _now_ _._  
If not for the fact you were shaking, you would've instantly kicked at whatever poked onto your shoulder but, at that moment, you just thought you could accept your death. If that was your moment, if you weren't fit for the apocalypse, you were alright with that; you had to put up with the consequences of your poor choices.  
   If death was upon you, you would just greet it properly. But instead you came to find a pair of golden-brown orbs staring right at you, brows furrowed in concern, with a hand gently placed on your shoulder.  
   You were expecting to meet face to face with opaque, souless eyes, jaws ready to tear your limbs apart but. . . It was _someone_ _._ An actual living person.  
   You didn't believe in foolish things such as destiny but, at that moment, something might've just sparkled within you.

   _So_ _you_ _weren't_ _alone_ _after_ _all_ _._

   You were ashamed to admit you ended up crying into the arms of a stranger, but you appreciated the support, nonetheless.

   What you hadn't noticed, on the other hand, was the other man standing from afar. He seemed fairly younger – maybe around your age? – and rather than awkward at the situation, considering the context you were in.

   "I'm sorry you had to go through that." The man humbly said, helping you stand in your frail and shaky body.

   Suddenly it hit you. You, an underage woman, were holding onto a man you had never seen before. Those were dark times your country was facing – well, who knew if not the whole world – and you couldn't simply get dragged away by a charming and sympathetic face. . .  _Humans were still humans._

  
 You would've tried pushing him away and making a run for it, if not for the sudden lack of strength in your muscles. Your limbs had gone numb, and you were slowly at a time losing control over your own body.

_Perhaps the stress. . ._

   And you had long passed out.


End file.
